Pets That Dream of Living in More Orderly Homes

by jen on February 1, 2010

Since December 5:

Before

Finally, January 31:

After

The owl is a Mincing Mockingbird original. On the back it provides the caption, “Another Night, Another Bout of Sickening Yet Exhilerating [SIC] Butchery.” Bwahahaha. A present from E. for Christmas. I bought MM’s book at UniqueLA with some of his birds and sayings, and COULD NOT GET ENOUGH. Seriously, I make everyone who comes into my house read it. Two of my favorites that have made me laugh out loud just reading them to myself (you have to imagine beautiful paintings of birds who are saying these most incredibly ridiculous things): “Realizations Made While In the Midst of a Sketchy But Much Needed Manicure” and “Pledging Obedience to an Authority I Like to Call Thug Life.” Oh, and there’s my magnet: “You’re a Whore and That Makes me Sad.” I bought the book for my brother for his birthday last year and we still laugh about it to this day. I also buy MM’s wife Frantic Meerkat‘s c-c-c-crazily awesome greeting cards (she has sweet Valentiine’s cards I have purchased for B. & E., as well as a temporary tattoo)*, and have turned several into prints on my wall.

Anyway. This post title is totally stolen from one of MM’s painting titles from his book (picture it coming from a beautiful cockatoo).

And it means that %^^#*$@((@(@&&@@^^%$%$%$ billable year 2009-2010 is over for me as of TODAY, and I cleaned my %^^#*$@((@(@&&@@^^%$%$%$ apartment for the first REAL time (aside from necessities) in 2 months today. And took down my Christmas tree. Brutal (8 hours!) yet HEAVENLY.

These last three months were the worst on record of my life, second only to the two months I spent studying for the bar exam. Imagine if you just skipped out on work for 9 months, and then had to do an entire year’s worth of work in 3 months? That was my life.

And when I read that caption (Pets That Dream of Living in More Orderly Homes) today, I wondered, do F&E give a crap if things are messy? I know they care when I don’t get home until 10 or 11 and they’re starving and I have about 15 minutes of lap time before I’m asleep, but do you think they care if the Christmas tree is still out and my mail is piling up on the counter and I haven’t watered the plants? Do you think your pets care? I dunno.

What I do know is I care. AND I AM SO HAPPY TO BE DONE WITH THIS YEAR (a month late, stupid delayed firm billable year).

B's pancake bits surprise for me

So, hello (finally!), 2010! I’ll meet you at the bar. I’ll be the only one with newly-manicured hands, a fresh haircut, a super-cute plaid dress I bought at Anthropologie because my opposing counsel on that deal was so mean I needed a pick-me-up and which kind of makes my hips look bigger than they are (just a little bit, said B.; HUGE, said E. (gotta love honesty in a man, HRMPH), and looking like I need a drink like no woman has ever needed one before. Cheers!

*No, they are not paying me for this, I just think they’re that awesome. It’s like the first time you heard Yeasayer and you couldn’t believe it.

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