One of the things I love most about kids and animals is they are oblivious to the notion that your body might not be designed purely for their comfort and pleasure. So they feel free to roam, perch, push and pull to their heart’s content without the least bit of guilt.
Being a lap/trampoline makes me very happy.
Of course, when your lap is entirely occupied with 25 lbs of fur, sometimes studying is difficult.
Luckily, you can always exact your revenge via sudden, startling movements.
That is #1 of the three most exciting things to happen to me in the last week.
I was walking on the apartment complex’s treadmill, learning about damages in quasi-contract cases (fascinating, truly), when this man, who may or may not be a one-time reality TV star, I shall not say, came into the gym, telling his blonde ladyfriend he’d see her up in the apartment in five minutes. I was perplexed — what did he plan on doing in five minutes in the gym? Some quick bicep pulls before dinner? “People in LA are weird,” is probably what I thought to myself because this is a thought I have almost daily.
Oh no. What he was planning on doing was taking a giant (I assume), STINKY POO in the gym bathroom and then leaving me behind to try to remember to breathe through my mouth for the next 42 minutes.
I have forgiven him, however, because hey, wise choice, dude. You were right to think that stench could have scared off your lady. And also, his little daschund is really cute and he seems like a loving pet dad, walking it eleventy times a day. Even steven.
The Boy expressed a sudden desire for fish this weekend, and I complied.
I did not know his desire was inspired by the new Filet-o-Fish commercials for McDonald’s. Perhaps if I had I would have made something a little different, not involving capers and bacon for goodness’ sake. But I’m happy I made what I did. I’ve never really made fish before, and it turned out great. Plus, I learned a bit. For instance, did you know that “boned” actually means “deboned?” Yes? Good for you. You are not an idiot. I am. Also, I mean seriously, what side would you think FLESH side would be? The non-skin side? Well, lucky you, again: not an idiot. I spent about 15 minutes in existential debate about this issue before giving in and looking it up online.
We also made the EASIEST DESSERT EVER. Oh, Barefoot Contessa, you rocked my fruit-avoiding mouth with this one AND gave me an excuse to buy some really good balsamic vinegar, which I have been wanting to do for FOREVER. Yay, Ina!
In margarita glasses, with a sprig of mint for garnish. And really, there’s only one thing you can do with leftover mint, no? MOJITOS.
The chance that I might give up early one night this weekend and make myself one (or two)? The only thing getting me through my arch nemesis, effectiveness of assignments against the obligor. That and some more lap time. Gah.