There are few dishes I’ve mastered.
- Pizza (Trader Joe’s pre-made crust, I heart you)
- Coq au vin
- Cheese straws and parmesean-stuffed dates wrapped in bacon
Other than than, I pretty much fly blind at every meal.
Tonight, I found Epicurious’ Scallops with Mushrooms in White Wine Sauce, which was awesome because it took care of some leftover stale french bread, parsley, sauvignon blanc (with some left to drink of course!) and parmesean from the party.
I started into this recipe like I do most (my fatal flaw as a cook) — without reading it the whole way through. And also without the right equipment (OK, another fatal flaw). Who has eight 2-oz. ramekins, I ask you, WHO?? I’m impressed I own ANY ramekins. I didn’t even know ramekins came in any size aside from the usual 6-oz. size. Again, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THESE 2-OZ. RAMEKINS?
Hm. My incensement over these 2-oz. ramekin people — with what I imagine is like 8 kabillion cubic meters of storage space in their kitchens, and also probably some counterspace that isn’t occupied by either a) cat hair or b) drying dishes since those people probably also have a working dishwasher — has made me lose my train of thought.
Which is: yes, I have some fatal flaws, but DUDE, you fancypants ramekin Epicurians could help out in the instructional department. I have A LOT of questions.
For instance, “Cook mushrooms in 2 tablespoons butter.” Does this mean melt the butter first? Does it matter? “Then pour sauce back into pan and simmer, whisking, 1 minute.” Does this mean, pour sauce back into pan and wait until it simmers, then whisk for 1 minute? Or does this mean, pour sauce back into pan and somehow miraculously it should be simmering right away, and if it doesn’t because your stove sucks or maybe you accidentally burned a wooden spoon and had to turn the burner off to stop the acrid smell of scallop-juice infused wood from wafting through your apartment, what do you do then?
Anyway. Sometimes I love Epicurious. Sometimes I want to throw some kind of proletarian revolt.
For now, I’ll just have to be satisfied with a minor revolution: I cooked those scallops in 6-oz. ramekins, and it worked just fine, foodie fascists! Take that!