I’m a Wrappin’ Fool, Yo

by jen on December 20, 2005

Neeta and I at The Grove

You know how that second glass of wine somehow makes you believe you have tapped into a world of WISDOM and INSIGHT? Apparently one too many days in consumer-driven frenzy can make you believe you are The New Wrapping Czar. I thought I was channeling the spirit of Martha Stewart in my bedroom over the last couple days and I HAVE WRAPPED. Wrapped and wrapped and wrapped. Bizarre, hitherto unknown combinations of wrapping materials. I am The Iron Wrapper.


Oh yes. There is a big pink gerber daisy on a present for my dad. He’s going to LOVE it! And those cute jingle bells on Penny’s present? Oh, they will be a nice, unabating accompaniment on the NINE-HOUR DRIVE up to Redding* tomorrow. Luckily Fred & Ethel will be so drugged they won’t hear the constant ringing of holiday cheer in the trunk.

Normally I am a crappy wrapper (wow, that’s a horrible sentiment divorced from present-giving context).

And it’s really a miracle I could wrap at all given all the help I had:

But something took a hold of me and all of a sudden I WAS ON WRAPPING FIRE.

And now my poor family and friends have to pay the price of my fervor. Ah, how I love to give!

*Or, The ‘Ding, as my sister calls it. Where I get no celll reception at the ‘rents. So e-mail is my lone connection to the real world for the next week, aside from trips into town for Starbucks or take-out or last-minute mall purchases. Really, though, sounds heavenly. Yay, vacation!

Penny December 20, 2005 at 9:54 pm

dammit! i thought you were going to forget that i read this and put before and after pictures so i would know what you got me!

the presents look great and to prove that to you, i will walk around with my present for the next 5 days jingling it in your ears! don’t you love christmas time with the family?

Dagny December 20, 2005 at 9:59 pm

You have gone crazy with the gift wrap. Are you sure you are ok after finals? Have a good drive to the ‘Ding. I know you’re probably taking 5 but if you feel the need for a detour, stop off in Berkeley.

Gloria December 20, 2005 at 10:04 pm

I wondered why you were so busy just wrapping presents, but now I see why! They are SO pretty! I have dreams of being really unique and Martha with my wrapping, but then I get lazy and it’s just paper and ribbon.

Have fun at home!

jen December 20, 2005 at 10:13 pm

Penny, I am no sucker.

Dagny, I normally would love to! but with Fred & Ethel the only stops I get to make are for gas. Blech.

Gloria, well, I shopped until 3 or so, but I wrapped for a total of TEN HOURS over yesterday and today. Plus I made some Christmas presents by hand. I am crazy. Your Martha-ness surpasses mine in all other respects, though, so if you also wrapped for ten hours, people would be scared.

Dagny December 20, 2005 at 10:50 pm

Oh yeah. Forgot about Fred and Ethel. I don’t think it would be good if they met up with Boris and Natasha. Could be rather ugly.

jen December 20, 2005 at 10:59 pm

Haha. Yeah, all F&E would have to do is sit on B&N (omg, Barnes & Noble), and that would be the end of their cute little lives.

carolyn December 21, 2005 at 5:53 am

dude, those wraps are BEAUTYLICIOUS i tell you. very very impressive. i’m completely overcome with jealousy and there’s no way i am achieving wrapping glory like that before i try to go to bed early in order to get up and start driving at 4 a.m.

the grove seems really familiar to me – i think i ate lunch there w/ ginger the day before we met up! weird!

SpaceCase December 21, 2005 at 8:01 am

Wow. Just, wow. My presents are wrapped (or, will be wrapped, when I get around to it) in discount paper from Walgreens. Those are gorgeous!

Dagny December 21, 2005 at 9:26 am

Jen, I had never thought about their initials. I wonder if it’s too late to change their names.

jen December 21, 2005 at 9:53 am

No, no, they are the cutest names ever. Do not change them. And who doesn’t love books?

Gwen December 21, 2005 at 10:01 am

Your presents look gorgeous! Have a great trip home! We should hang out next year. :)

rg December 21, 2005 at 12:36 pm

have a fantastic vacation!

neeta December 23, 2005 at 11:31 pm

holy crap. we commence the gift giving process at precisely the same location (in close proximity to mr. frosty the snowman), but your gifts are adorned with daisies and bells, and my gifts got wrapped in the last damp copy of LA Weekly that I found in the newspaper dispenser, with BORROWED tape and NO scissors. if creativity was contagious, i’d let you sneeze on me.

minou December 24, 2005 at 3:25 am

Merry Xmas!

ddj December 24, 2005 at 7:48 am

Merry Christmas, to both you and your panther.

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